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I know that loneliness. As a child, I was so lonely. I had the weight of the world on my shoulders and no-one cared or understood. Although my loneliness came from being an adult at the age of 5, wearing the burden of being a responsible parent to my little brother, having to run a household, and put up with an alcoholic father and mentally ill mother. But the loneliness......I didn't know of anyone else who had to do what I did. Or who was like me.
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Etheric Portal / Re: Journey's End and Transformation of Simon2
« Last post by Christine on Today at 04:49:40 PM »
Oh Simon, I don't know what to say. To know someone 'sees' you in such a gift. Thank you.
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Etheric Portal / Re: The Transformation Of Simon2 – Part One
« Last post by Christine on Today at 04:47:36 PM »
31st March is significant for me. My favourite very ill uncle was born on that day and so was one of my best friends in the world. It's the only day I ever remember for birthdays too lol.

I am still having trouble with finding the words for things after this last anaesthetic. It's an awful thing.
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Nice house. It's sad the children haven't moved on.
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I found this on the National Trust website
https://www.nationaltrust.org.au/places/miss-porters-house/
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Perhaps your picking up on Elizabeth gray.. Maybe the child shared to same bead with her nursery maid?

Kanacki
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What age were you in this instalment, Simon? Seems to be missing from the first sentence in the third para.

I’m moved by the loneliness of the child you illustrate. We feel intensely as children; it must have been a burden for that small person amid an otherwise connected community.

Maybe it would have been a comfort to know, many children feel alone for all sorts of reasons. If I were sitting with you enjoying tea and biscuits and trust between us, I would confide that I was once a child with the responsibilities of an adult, which I couldn’t meet. I wish I could visit your child self in the past and say to him, many of us feel alone, which means none of us are really alone after all. Take heart, little one.
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Etheric Portal / Re: Journey's End and Transformation of Simon2
« Last post by violet on May 24, 2019, 03:54:45 PM »
Thanks for clarifying, Simon.
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Looking at Part One in relation to Transformation, most of the facts are there but it lacked the true Gravitas of what it was like personally, both experientially and emotionally.

In order to achieve this, I am going to imagine, that you are a very good friend of mine, sitting in front of me and I am talking to you over tea and biscuits.

To really understand these event I must take you back to when my journey began, at about age. By this age I was starting to realise that I was different than all my family, which comprised of my Mum and dad, plus two older siblings. To add to the mix we were, like most people in the street, immigrants from Europe who have been in Australia only a couple of years.

At first, I chose to ask my older siblings about who I am as I felt different from them. At first, they looked at each other, then a smile came over them. I heard them talking to each other in a very low voice, which I failed to hear.

As they turned to me and my older sister said that I was adopted into the family; I got a shock and ran into my mother crying (kids are the same in most families; LOL). My mother quickly raised me up and just cuddled me until I had stopped crying and said, with a most beautiful smile and loving face that this was a trick by both my older sister and brother to just upset me.

This was very good news, but did not answer my question at all.

At abought the same time I was also starting to have a very real and scary dream. In this dream, I was in what I thought a hut, which was burning and heat was very real. There was also a very scary man holding a torch and laughing madly at me. This dream continued over two very long years.

We/I, had a lot of friends in our street, plus a few in other surrounding streets. It was never quiet with children congregating at different houses and in the streets.

We all got into really mad things, like building go carts and careering down a very street, which had, at the end, a bit of grass and a little stream. For brakes we used the heal of our shoes, some came safely to rest in either the grass or stream but most, gleefully, crashed and as a result got bloody scraps and bruises, but we never tired of each others company.

Although we had a lot of Farms around us, we were quite close to the city. It was in these Farms where we used to steal carrots and Blackberries, then usually getting chased out by the Farm owner. We all ran as fast as our little legs, sometimes being caught but mostly to freedom and eating the carrots.

We were all equals, playing madly, getting hurt often but some of the most wonderful life. I'm crying now, sorry, I know what's coming up. LOL.

Life was great for a child, no distractions, except one, I felt so, so alone, because I could tell they were not like me; I was really alone.

How, I badly needed some answers. Crying again, but so "raw" and my emotions are spiking, really upsetting me now, as I can see these events being played out and I know what's coming next, but you, my friend, are here with me, so comforting; thank you my dear friend.

During my childhood, when I was alone, usually out in the backyard, I would stand on the porch and ... !!

Sorry, I need to  take break my dear friend, perhaps afternoon today or morning tea tomorrow?


 
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Etheric Portal / The Transformation Of Simon2 – Part One
« Last post by Simon2 on May 21, 2019, 05:02:10 PM »
I start this Post with a Genuine Warning that, in days to come, I will be crossing into perhaps your very long-held beliefs on what it truly means to be a Human, Religion, the Spirit Realm, “The Spirit” and other areas I touch on.

If you have fixed views, in any of the above areas, then I beg you not to read beyond this Post or any of my future posts about my experiences over the last 5 Months.


Once Read, You Cannot Forget

Once Written, You Cannot Take It Back



On My Part I Will Tell You Only My Experiences And The Truth As I Have Experienced It.

Things were going really well (at home in time for Christmas and New Year), I was "Happy", one could also say I was euphoric and heading in the manner of when I was a Hippy, with Long Grey Hair and a very Grey Beard, what could possibly go wrong!!

From This Point On The Metamorphous Commences:


The summer was really hot and I don't do well in heat, but I dealt with it as best I could.

As New Year approached, I was getting more Euphoric and losing both, a sense of time and even life, telling everyone, that I will be better by the 31 March 2019, a date that just entered my mind.

I noticed that when I slept, even on my first night home, I felt literally no back pain, something that wasn't the case previously; what has happened to achieve such a Miracle?

Early January I started to feel, what I thought was vibration in the Car Park below and also hearing water going through pipes, after 10 years in our current home, why now?

Then it happened and continued over the next 3 Months; due to my state (everyone, including me initially), thought that it was all due to the events in December and more importantly, the withdrawal effects of none or less Opioids.

One day I was in the bathroom shaving and caught an image in the mirror that I did not recognise as me; I cried in pain; What has happened to me, I'm really old and my hair is receding!!

I was younger looking the last time; I remember it clearly. I went to my wife and told her my problem; she laughed and assured me I looked fine and I felt better.

When I ate, I started biting my tongue, lips and inside my cheek and to add more problems, I couldn't swallow food, liquid or medication, without a problem occuring. WTF is happening to me!!

At night my eyes began to not work well, not able to focus and I saw spots; daylight was even harder. Another WTF is happening!!!

I was finding it difficult to spell complex words, write or type.
 
I was unable to hold conversations, without saying some words incorrectly.

Feel, what I thought was "ants running below the skin" due to the Optic Nerve repairing itself as it was nicked by the BCC incision; okay I thought. 

Worse still, was that the last few decades suddenly became images from a dream to me. WTF is happening to me, am I dying, I thought!!

There were a lot of good things also happening during the same timeframe:

I started to lose weight (10 Kilos in 3 Months to 31 March 2019), Yeah, now I can now wear my great gear, that was purchased the last time I was this weight (2012).

All my old habits due to being home for the last 10 years were changing to how I was many, many years ago, in short, a whole lot better.

I was also getting on better than ever with my lovely wife, paying her compliments, going to the shops to get groceries, etc., In other words, being a better person.

Better still, the "snappy" dog, that my son and his wife have continues to be nice to me and allowing me to pick him up. When he stays over, he comes to me, cuddles up to me and likes my wife and I next to him when he is with us. Has even started to stay with me when my wife is out.

This was the reverse over the entire period of his life (he is 7 years old now) up to the end of 2018.


These last few months have truly been, in retrospect, a wonderful positive change in many ways of my existence, both physically and spiritually.

In Summary, Old habits, mindsets and perceptions have given way to new clearer and more positive ones, together with conclusions to many old ways of doing things and  more importantly the visualisation of my spiritual path.

The next Post will outline the most important events of my life.


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