Author Topic: Melbourne Cemetery  (Read 28266 times)

Offline Kali

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Re: Melbourne Cemetery
« Reply #15 on: June 23, 2007, 12:27:09 PM »
Oops I missed that typo above. Deaf/death.
The whole 'end' thing I suppose.  In order to cope with death, many people seem to turn it into a kind of ghastly exception.  Every culture has, for example, a 'Grim Reaper' character who personifies death.  He's not always black or skeletal, and he's not always HE - some has a female 'collector of souls'.  The good old funeral march...

Interesting points Gary. I think you summed it up with "in order to cope".

Invariably death comes to us all, but it is generally something with which we have absolutely no control, and should we attempt to control it, i.e. suicide, euthanasia etc we are seen as being 'wrong'. The fascination with death IMHO largely stems from it being an unknown. Everything in our realities goes through a cognitive familiarisation such as death = decay, cold, coffin, dirt = black, sinister etc.  So, the grim reaper type thing is a symbol for the reality of death and burial.
Personally I think mankind does a good job in coping with something that is not only an unknown but is a given for us all. If I had my way I would choose my time and go out on a pyre, however, here in Australia that is not allowed so I have to instead make plans that not only fit with me but also can afford my family and friends the opportunity to have closure. That is what funerals are about, closure for those left behind.
Romanticism, as you call it, is a persons attempt to draw comfort in the reconciliation of their loved ones death and reality, but in that I find beauty instead of reason to scoff.
With all due respect Gary, where you see humour I see love; and I feel sorry for those who are unable to appreciate the intricacy of the human spirit.

 
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Offline GaryTheDemon

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Re: Melbourne Cemetery
« Reply #16 on: June 23, 2007, 02:40:54 PM »
Dont get me wrong Kali, I see humour in the attitudes I mentioned but these are not the ones that people feel when death touches them.

When that great change touches the lives of people, there is often much sadness and feelings of loss.  THEN, various religious beliefs come into play to help them cope.  There's nothing there I find humorous.  Grief is tragic and far from being amused, I have a tendancy to empathize to the worst extent.  I can actually be traumatized by the loss of someone I hardly know - just through being exposed to the grief of their relatives that I also hardly know! 

I was talking about attitudes that occur further back in the life-stream.

It is the 'times are ok, we are getting on' approach to death that is romantic.  When no-one is sick or dying (or lately dead) we devise all sorts of emotional protections which are amusing to me.  It is not 'in order to cope' with death - but in fact 'in order to cope' with the UNCERTAINTY of death.  There is a difference, but I was probably totally misleading in my previous post.  People do not, generally, talk of the Grim Reaper when they or someone is dying, only when everyone is healthy!

My idea of a good 'end' is a) to be minced up for pet food and b) for everyone who knows me to carry on as though i had just gone out for the day.  No funeral.  BUT funerals, as you have rightly pointed out, are for the living.  I may introduce some individualities into mine but essentially it must be what my surviving friends, relations (or failing those then enemies) might want.

Hopefully that is a little clearer.

ps. i have to attend a funeral on tuesday coming for the husband of a lady I know and it's going to be very traumatic.  Prior to his death I just finished making a short film about - yep! - the grim reaper!  The film was conceived and finished before 'it' happened or was likely to happen. 


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Offline catseyes

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Re: Melbourne Cemetery
« Reply #17 on: June 23, 2007, 03:45:25 PM »
I am critisized by family for not visiting the grave of my gran, who has been dead about 5 years now.  I see no point in going, its not like shes there!  They go and weed and cry and morn, Tomcat too, visits his parents grave, takes flowers, so that the groundsman can multch them in in a couple of days.  I really find this hard to understand.

I would like my ashes scattered on the wind, I would hate people crying over a patch of ground that has no relevance to me at all, not to mention the family having to bare the cost of the upkeep.  Seems a waste to me!


Offline GaryTheDemon

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Re: Melbourne Cemetery
« Reply #18 on: June 23, 2007, 03:53:55 PM »
but it's what some people need ce.  i dont mean those who've passed on, i mean those who are left.  it's a focal point.  it gives them a connection.  Some who pass on actually get stuck in that connection - which is sad.

for me, it's a place to stick my left over bits, and as ive said - the best place for that is Chunky Chum Chow for Dogs.  :)

If you cannot love, then at least don't hate.
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Offline Kali

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Re: Melbourne Cemetery
« Reply #19 on: June 23, 2007, 04:04:12 PM »
Dont get me wrong Kali, I see humour in the attitudes I mentioned but these are not the ones that people feel when death touches them.

Ah thanks for the clarification Gary. I was under the impression you viewed all as humorous. I was also a bit touchy and defensive in that post so I apologise for that. I do understand what you are saying with the clarification, but then I tend to view the world through rose coloured glasses and see most everything as 'sweet' or 'adorable' or some equally sickening word. :-}

I would hate people crying over a patch of ground that has no relevance to me at all...

I agree catseyes, my family want it though and I conceded because it's really only a ritual to me but in the funeral it will be emphasised that I'm not there by the inclusion of Maya's poem... do not stand at my grave and weep for I am not there...
The sage does not expect that others use his criteria as their own.

- Lao Tzu, "Tao Te Ching"

Offline GaryTheDemon

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Re: Melbourne Cemetery
« Reply #20 on: June 23, 2007, 04:09:05 PM »
kali, you have nothing to apologize for :)

And it is to your credit that you can see good about you so much.  It makes you even more a pleasure to know.

If you cannot love, then at least don't hate.
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Offline catseyes

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Re: Melbourne Cemetery
« Reply #21 on: June 23, 2007, 04:18:26 PM »
*claps* for Gary and Kali!


Offline Stumbles

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Re: Melbourne Cemetery
« Reply #22 on: August 19, 2007, 11:35:25 PM »
Does the Melbourne Cemetery have a full moon tour? Or am I thinking of a completely different tour? It would be really worth going to if they did! ;)
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Offline Christine

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Re: Melbourne Cemetery
« Reply #23 on: August 20, 2007, 01:39:38 PM »
I dont think they do.
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.
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Offline Stumbles

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Re: Melbourne Cemetery
« Reply #24 on: August 20, 2007, 07:33:51 PM »
Oh bummer, never mind!
...I'm just a boring example of everybody else...

Offline Ariel

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Re: Melbourne Cemetery
« Reply #25 on: September 09, 2007, 08:50:40 AM »
Is the melbourne cemetery the one in carlton?
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Offline Christine

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Re: Melbourne Cemetery
« Reply #26 on: September 09, 2007, 05:12:55 PM »
Yes.
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.
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Offline PixxieQueen

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Re: Melbourne Cemetery
« Reply #27 on: October 17, 2007, 09:44:24 PM »
I think there could be night tours. The National Trust are the people to contact to obtain more accurate information re this.
We cannot change what others think or their actions, but we can change our reaction, that is the choice.

Offline Christine

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Re: Melbourne Cemetery
« Reply #28 on: October 17, 2007, 11:17:26 PM »
There used to a be a company called White Hat Tours and they used to run these cemetery tours. Not sure if they still do or not.
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.
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Offline PixxieQueen

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Re: Melbourne Cemetery
« Reply #29 on: January 11, 2008, 05:48:52 PM »
Has anyone been on a tour of the Melbourne Cemetery and what did you think of it?
We cannot change what others think or their actions, but we can change our reaction, that is the choice.

 


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