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Paranormal and Supernatural => Paranormal Portal => Topic started by: Christine on December 03, 2013, 12:07:52 AM
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About half an hour out of Auschwitz I could feel the grim despair and pain. I tried to analyse it to see if it was just my expectation of feeling these emotions or if it was genuine feeling, genuinely detecting these feelings. I am sad to say I had a few comparisons so I had a benchmark.
About 10 km out of Buchenwald I felt the same foreboding and this was days before Auschwitz and not realising we were driving past it. In fact the tour guide didn't tell us we were driving past it until we were on top of it. There was little to no signage to give it away.
This same feeling returned when we drove past Birkenau on the way to Auschwitz Camp 1.
There are two well-known facilities here. Auschwitz-I is the original or 'main' Auschwitz camp. Auschwitz-II or Birkenau was the main killing centre in the area, and is many times larger than Auschwitz. This is not to say people were not murdered at Auschwitz 1, they were.
The approach started about half an hour away. I saw the trains on the railway track headed in the direction of the town. I saw people walking, marching, dragging their bodies, headed in the direction of the town.
At this point we were in the bus, so the visions were fleeting, we were travelling at speed.
We got off the bus in the car park and at that point things changed. They were not fleeting any more. They were right there. Right on top of us. All around us. We were breathing it in and people were generally unaware of the fact we were. It occurred to me that with each breath, those who died became part of my flesh. I breathed in their essence, their flesh and they became part of mine.
After coming to that conclusion I began to smell it. Them. Smell the burning.
We were ushered towards the visitor centre to join a tour group for our tour company.
Approaching the building I was told, clearly, "LOOK DOWN, Don't look up, don't look them in the eye. Don't stand out. Look down, shuffle. Take small steps."
So I did. I looked down, I didn't raise my head, I didn't look "them" in the eye, the Guards, I shuffled, I took the same small steps they did. For they couldn't only take small steps in their little wooden shoes, they could only shuffle. The shuffle of the dead, walking to their deaths.
I realised, they thought I was one of them.
tbc
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Sorry, I can't read this. I am getting waves of despair. I am glad you have started putting it down on paper (well, you know what I mean) and hope to come back to it later. For some reason, Christmas and this have some link for me. I don't exactly know why.
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I think I can only write it bit by bit too.
Maybe a past life thing for you Gary?
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I found that was enough information in the one hit for me, so yes I can see why you'd want to do it in small amounts. :-\
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This is so tragic Christine. It must take strength of a great magnitude to write this much. When you are ready, we will be ready to hear more.
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Oh Christine. I second Colleen's thought about the strength it must take to bear in-person witness to what they went through.
Much as it hurts I think it's our duty to remember them and be with them, when we can. Thanks for giving us the opportunity to do that.
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Gosh, there is no strength on my part, they had the strength. I only need to be able to convey it and that is difficult. I feel like it happened to me, but it didn't. Although it could be past life. I must not mix the two or I cannot convey the history of it all. I cannot do it justice if I mix the two.
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feel like it happened to me, but it didn't.
That's how I feel. I don't *think* it is my past life (though I might be wrong) because I only really got a connection when I deliberately tried to connect. I'd seen stuff about it before and read a (very) few books and it really just struck me as typical of man's inhumanity to anyone and anything that wasn't himself. But when I deliberately tried to link to the events - because I felt that there was a story to be written, truths to be brought out - well, from that point I seem to have created some sort of empathic link. I'm no medium (not even an average LOL) but am prone to be very empathic.
I think, in a real sense, much of the hurt goes on. I feel that there is a time space there which has not moved on. Perhaps it is because of the staining, the recording - or maybe it's almost a 'dent' in man's racial memory... I don't know.
One day I will go there. For better or for worse, one day. I think when I offered to 'be a voice', I committed to that. Bit off more than I could chew maybe ...
There are worse places, believe it or not. Worse tragedies. Worse cruelty. And if I let myself connect to those ... I wouldn't last ten minutes. Which does not reduce the magnitude of the holocaust horror. Nothing reduces it.
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Thank you for sharing..I am glad you are, these people have a story to tell, and as horrible, sad and terrifying as it is, it is theirs and they deserve to have a voice and be remembered...
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I have had an exhilarating (and exhausting) day bringing Christmas cheer to a bunch of residents from a local aged care. So riding high. So now I have the fortitude to read the post.
Yes. What you have written hits the nail on the head with me. Even now, I'm having trouble letting go of that time (despite today's euphoria). And I haven't even been there. Just opened up to it. To them.
Most people I know would think I was just being silly. Or over imaginative. Maybe I am.
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I think there is something in what you are experiencing.
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I'm certain of it. I am the first to admit to a good imagination but I've sure that this is more than that.
I envy you your trip and your experiences. Even if I'm not ready for it yet myself (ignoring $ limitations LOL)
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I am ahead of myself. I need to take you a step back. To the beginning of the day.
We drove towards Jasna Gora, a Polish town known to be a place of Pilgrimage for Catholics similar to Mecca. They travel here at least once in their lives if they live in Europe. The travel the last section on their hands and knees. Our tour was to visit this Black Madonna. You can read about her here
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Madonna_of_Cz%C4%99stochowa
The day we were to visit was a day for school children from throughout Poland to visit. 28,000 in total. The tour took place in the church while the mass was on. Typical Catholics, anything for a buck. When we arrived at the site Maryke and I decided we weren't doing it and said so to our Tour Director. There were many reasons for this. I personally have such an issue with Catholic systemic and ritual abuse of children, to see all these kids there doing the whole Catholic thing, turned my stomach. Plus I had serious reservations visiting a Catholic place on a day we were going to Auschwitz. They covered up much of the holocaust, the financially benefited from it. I am not a hypocrite.
So we found a nice Polish bar where no-one spoke english and had some lunch. The rest of the group attended the tour during mass, even the muslim people in the group They (the Saudi couple) arrived back 30 mins late so this meant we weren't going to be able to touch our feet at Birkenau, but we didn't know that at the time.
Here is a photo of the kids being mislead at Jasna Gora.
(http://www.paranormal.com.au/public/gallery/6_04_12_13_8_01_23.jpeg)
Here is one of the fete on the day of the pilgrimage. Please notice the toy guns being sold in the grounds of this church.
(http://www.paranormal.com.au/public/gallery/6_04_12_13_8_02_08.jpeg)
After listening to the people who did the tour we were glad we didn't go. They said they felt wrong being ushered around while mass was being said.
I was just questioning the whole visit being on the same day as Auschwitz.
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Those toy guns look fearsome. I don't like them at all.
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I believe it is completely inappropriate to sell them on church grounds.
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I don't......most wars are over religion I think it is the perfect place.
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I get that bit, but......isn't christianity or catholicism or whatever brand of Jesus, meant to be about peace and love? No. It isn't it is about money and greed. I guess I live in a fairy land where I think it should be what it is meant to be about, not what it actually is.
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Selling toy guns within Church grounds shows a total lack of respect for the church institution, whatever religion it is. Yes, money is the name of the game. Children within the community will grow up to think it is all normal, religion and guns, being just a part of everyday life, when it shouldn't be like that.
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I have been to Dachau concentration camp not far from Munich when I was travelling the world trying to find myself in my early twenty's. I am not physic or in touch with anything outside the normal but this camp was one strange place. I have to admit that it was dark and lifeless if that makes any sense . It also felt like you were in a church and everyone spoke in whispers . Another thing that I noticed that outside the wire you heard birds but inside it was still with no sound of the outside world. That's what I can remember of the place and when you walked down into the ovens it was very cool . Also standing on open fields that had written saying 40000 people lay here in one unmarked grave. I am big on military history so when I had the chance of going there I jumped at it. Looking back just maybe I did feel some paranormal feelings there as it is a very sad place. Not sounding cold but I am very glad I went and if I had the chance to go again I would for sure. I think most people should visit as it helps you understand that these places should be kept open so history won't be repeated and camps like this should never of happened in the first place.
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It's not unusual to see plastic guns and other assorted cheap Chinese plastic tat across Eastern Europe, even at places you would think it would not be tolerated or acceptable, especially by our standards. Believe me, I've seen much more ideologically worse things being sold at such places! I think the worst I saw was a T-shirt, designed to look like a typical band tour t-shirt with dates and so forth on it, except that it was the Hitler World Tour of Europe, listing each of the countries invaded by date.
Back on topic, I've visited more than my share of concentration camps and memorials in my life, far more than your average tourist would. Auschwitz was one place that I expected to be moved by, but wasn't. I put it down to the crowds of people, the nice sunny weather, and the fact I'd studied it extensively- I knew what to expect and got exactly that. Birkenau was much the same. On the other hand, Dachau was more moving, as were some of the remote & unvisited camps/memorials across the former Soviet Union.
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Christine, as I am writing this I am feeling a heavy load around me, smelling a stench of death and tasting it as well.
I have always had these feelings about what happened at Auschwitz and other similar camps, since I was old enough to read about the horrors that went on.
Same feelings as I get about the massacre of the Cathars by Pope Innocence III.
I am also overcome with nausea.
I am so glad that I am now learning to "Live in the Moment", even at this early stage I can acknowledge the past but bring myself back to this moment, where I am writing this post.
I will be posting a new topic on "Living in the Moment", its history, etc., but more importantly my personal experiences and the positive benefits it is having on me.
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Thanks for sharing your feelings guys.
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I saw some stuff on tibet. I can't watch it at all. It is home. Feels like home. i remember it - though I don't if you know what I mean. And the horrors there ... I can still immerse myself in most horrors and then translate them into words - fiction or some kind of almost non-fiction - but if I do that with tibet I will not come out the other side :(
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I do know exactly what you mean
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Unfortunately this is created by a flaw in humankind, which has continued from the time humans evolved.
We all have the potential to devolve back to our base instincts, which are with us from the moment of birth and dwell in what Sigmund Freud defined as the "ID". This along with our Ego and Super-Ego, form three parts of the "psychic apparatus" defined in Sigmund Freud's "structural model" of the psyche (refer the link below).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Id,_ego_and_super-ego (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Id,_ego_and_super-ego)
The Bible, Qur'an, Weapons of Mass Destruction (refer Iraq War), Economic Depression in Germany (reason Hitler came to power initially), etc., are only tools used by people to attain their own goals forsaking all cost of human lives, either directly or indirectly.
The paper I was going to Post but have now decided the time is not right, dealt with this in more detail and defined an ever decreasing time-cycle of events, which compress events such as wars into smaller and smaller timeframes, which I then used along with social and economic factors to forecast my view of the future of the human race.
One last thought, the 20th Century has been defined as the period of greatest advancement in technological achievements, which cannot be denied, but did you also know that, in terms of the number of "recorded and estimated" human deaths as a result of wars and genocide (refer Pol Pot, Idi Amin, Hitler, etc.), it was also the worst in recorded history.
Apologies for the above but, at this time, "perspective" is the "most important" attribute we all need.
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i tend to regard Freud as an over-sexed obsessive. But I agree that there are many 'causes' of horror in the world which are actually just *used* as a power source, or an excuse, or a vehicle for that horror. Ultimately, it comes back to ego (and karma which is not so distinct from ego).
I also agree that despite the advances, we are living in potentially one of the worst times. We have unbelievable communication technology yet most people use it to tell their chums that they are in starbucks, they had egg for breakfast, or that they saw a cool youtube video. We have the technology to explore planets, to go deep into the ocean, to probe the mysteries of the planet, yet we walk blindly past people living on the street, or dying on hospital trolleys. We torture and kill billions of animals for food while fruit rots on trees, while harvests are buried in the ground, while children with distended bellies cry, fall silent and die.
Brave new world. Or cowardly old one.
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Your words always say the truth Gary. Absolutely correct.
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As I have said in a previous Topic, Gary you have an excellent way with succinctly getting your point(s) over with very few, well chosen words, even if sometimes we have a point of difference.
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A point of difference is mutual blindness.
OK, well maybe not but it DID SOUND GOOD DIDN"T IT!
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"A point of difference is mutual blindness"
I love it Gary; well done.
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I have just come across your post Christine, and i remember of when i visited the Holocaust Museum in Washington some years ago.
The feelings and emotions i felt there were phenomenal, to the point were I had to leave it was as tho I was seeing something i had experienced. It knocked me around for a few days after being there. I don't think i could ever go near one of the camps especially Auschwitz.
I would be interested in hearing more of your story if you are able to tell it sometime.
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It's been 9 months and it's not easier yet. I will try to do so soon. I had an interesting experience when I went to the Holocaust Museum iin Melbourne, but nothing like this. Thanks Spiritone.
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I just caught a small piece on TV last night (or maybe the night before) which was essentially about some of the graffiti at Auschwitz. I saw a scene that I have not seen before ... but one I described in my Pages from the Book of Life and Death (http://www.facebook.com/PagesFromTheBookOfLifeAndDeath) story. The rail track going into Auschwitz. It was exactly as I had 'imagined' it. It shook me.
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Very spooky Gary.
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Channeling. I don't do it much. Except when I write. Then I tend to open myself up.
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It is very interesting that you talk about channelling now, as I have been thinking of starting to try this aspect as I have not really done its truest form.
Up until now I have tended to channel in my head; I know it sounds strange, but it does work for me, but I think writing it down would be much better and may indeed give me a better result.
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Hi Christine!
I enjoyed your story and would love to hear the rest if you are up to it!
As I was reading, I felt such despair (as I do with anything war connected) but could smell the burning hair... aweful
Whenever I go into a cemetery, I can smell the death and feel presence. Its not a nice feeling. Actually, that reminded me of an old children's cemetery with mostly unmarked graves that were 150 odd years old near Castlemaine Victoria. Went there recently and immediately upon entering, I felt sick to my stomach, could smell it and felt surrounded by children and adults. I couldn't linger there too long!
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I usually find cemeteries to be peaceful but I always make sure I dial up the protection before entering them.
I never did finish writing of my Auschwitz experience. I should.
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Cemeteries are largely dead places. In every sense. People have no emotional connection to them so they rarely hang out there 'afterwards'. SOMETIMES it happens (have had a couple of people follow me out) but very rarely.
Auschwitz... shudder.
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Thanks guys! I do protect myself, but this cemetery made me nauseated even as I entered and I felt such sorrow! Took me a good 10 minutes after leaving before I felt better.
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It occurs to me that you might have been picking up on the feelings or emotions of those who came to mourn.
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That's possible CE.
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Quite agree Catseyes; a bit like picking up the negative or positive energy in old houses, buildings, etc..
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I had to write 500 words on a memorable museum experience for my current uni course. Here you go.
In 2013 I fulfilled a goal of visiting the Auschwitz-Birkenau Memorial and Museum in Poland. I grew up on a diet rich with war stories told by my Dutch mother and her family, and the impact they had on me was significant. I wanted to see what my grandfather had risked his life for when he chose to become part of the Dutch Resistance, so I determined at a young age to visit Auschwitz. I travelled with a friend who grandfather also served in the Dutch Resistance. Auschwitz I is the original or the main Auschwitz camp. Auschwitz II or Birkenau was the main killing centre in the area, and is many times larger than Auschwitz. This is not to say people were not murdered at Auschwitz 1, they were. I could see the trains on the railway track I could see the people walking, marching, dragging their bodies, headed in whatever direction they were forced to go. Walking through the gates was sobering knowing so many had walked through them and met their deaths in these walls and in many other camps like this one. A sense of despair and anger followed me throughout the memorial.
Our guide escorted us throughout the on-site museum. He was Jewish and had lost family to the war. He spoke to us with a level voice, keeping emotion at bay. There was a sense of calm in the way he presented the facts to us. We walked from room to room viewing the artefacts that told the story of the camps, their roles within the mechanism of the Schutzstaffel, also known as SS, camp and SS objects, and additionally proof of the extermination of people.
As we walked through the museum, we saw dioramas of how people were transported, how they were killed and evidence, in the form of empty Zyclon B canisters, the poison that ended their lives. There were photos of some of the victims on the walls. I saw people taking photographs of the belongings left behind by the people who died there, also known as plundered goods: spectacles, prosthetic limbs, money, razors, hair brushes, suitcases, clothes and religious objects. I could not take photos. These people had been robbed of enough. I did not want to show photos to my friends after my trip and have to try to convey the emotion of the moment. No picture could do that, and this was a personal journey.
The most memorable moment of the visit to the museum was not necessarily all of the hideous evidence of the atrocities I had seen on display, although it was graphic and terrible, I was not unfamiliar with the narrative told. It was when I stood in front of piles and piles of chipped enamel cooking utensils, and is it that that leaves me in tears as I write this reflective exercise for you. The reason it affects me so is that it symbolised the hope those people had when they were forced to leave their homes. They hoped things would work out for them and those cooking vessels symbolised that sense of hope for a future to me. Seeing them discarded in piles in the museum was symbolic of their hopes destroyed.
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My respect to your grandfather, Christine.
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As it turns out, my business partners grandfather was also in the Dutch Resistance in a neighbouring town to my grandfather. It is highly likely they knew each other. Her and I only met about 6 years ago. We have many life parallels.
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My journey now is a very intimate, sometimes tearful one.
I am travelling backwards, through the many lives I have lived, strangely enough i have had help from spirits from the spirit-world and angels from their world, which I have had many visits with over the last 2 to 3 years, but this appears to be accelerating.
It is quite strange, as I sense, very strongly, that those from the spirit, angels and other realms are all expecting something from me and are reaching out for something that eludes me.
The jigsaw puzzle I thought was almost complete, a few weeks ago, has suddenly changed to one, where a number of key pieces of the puzzle has grown and the puzzle itself has changed to one I am unable to finish.
I have felt and noticed a major change in what I deem "important" in both the physical and spiritual worlds and for some reason, via the anchor I was allowed to attach to the world between the physical and spiritual world; the one where some spirits find themselves trapped for whatever reason. Strangely it is the one where I have assisted some of these lost spirits to move across into the spirit world in order to continue their individual journeys.
I sense a great calm in myself and find great comfort to be amongst friends that I cannot see, but slowely I am able to feel their individual presence.
I understand the different "and individual" emotions those that go to Auschwitz must feel, taste, perhaps even "see" past events. These, from what you have written Christine and others who find that they are unable to put pen to paper perhaps, due to the very strong negative emotions that they may experience, from either a visit to Auschwitz, or other places around the world where such atrocities have occurred.
I think, no, I believe, that if we can summon the courage to write about the negative impacts that individuals experienced, even if no one sees what has been written, would be a great unburdening of these negative feelings, from the individual's spirit(s) and their physical emotions.
I apologise for "hijacking" your Post Christine, but this is what I have also noticed that if I am not careful, I write about 500+ words instead of just a sentence, or two. Fortunately I am able to delete what I have written to what people expect from me.
I also find that while I am writing an SMS, suddenly a "picture" of a friend who is very ill, appears in my "Third-Eye" and i am suddenly caught between what I am writing against a picture, which I am unable to move away from, until the SMS is finished (a sentence that took over 30 minutes to complete)
I am needing some assistance from those who may be able to help me move on and complete my journey.
You need to understand that even with all the above going on, I am at peace with myself and the world(s) around me; most people may see chaos, where I see and feel comfortable, which, is in itself, is quite strange.